When I first announced the witchling was coming I could not tell you how many, well meaning I'm sure, folks asked when the baby daddy and I were going to tie the knot. See, I call him Dear Hubby, or DH, because as far as we're concerned we're in a committed monogamous relationship, and have been for the last (nearly) 11 years, yes 11, so there is no real big hurry for that marriage certificate. I've called him my husband for the last several years because to me he is, and that has nothing to do with any special piece of paper that grants the bearers the perfect relationship that requires no work and promises they'll never separate. Wait, you mean that little bit of paper doesn't do all that? Then what is the hurry exactly? Any concerns that were brought up seemed trivial and just the person grasping at straws. Example? What if something happens to one of us? We're responsible adults that have taken the appropriate steps to ensure our daughter will always be taken care of, i.e. a will. Taxes? Again, we're adults, we've worked that out. How will it effect my daughter? She's growing up with two loving parents who will go to the ends of creation for her, what more exactly does she need? Moral issues? Not my faith, no my problem. Bottom line, cohabitation works for us, has worked for us for a decade, and will likely work for us for several more because we realize relationships of any sort take both parties working towards a common goal. They take work period. If it were easy the divorce rate would be lower. This isn't all to say we will never get married. Eventually, some Halloween, I'd love to get hitched in New Orleans in a beautiful black dress, but now just isn't the right time.
It seems that we aren't the only ones forgoing "I do" for now. There have been multiple studies and articles written about the recent decline of marriage in the US. One article states that only half of Americans are married now, down from 72 in 1960. Some say that it is an antiquated idea of ownership over females, others say the recession is to blame for the decline in weddings. Either way more and more couples in committed relationships are finding what they already have works just fine for them. The government thought there might be some correlation between remaining unmarried and poverty so they spent about 1 billion, that's billion with a B, dollars since 2006 trying to show we unmarried Americans the error of our ways. Forbes has an article that explains the whole idea behind that expenditure that's worth a read.
Regardless of the reason, marriage isn't always for everyone. There are other reasons besides "it works" that I keep pushing back our nuptials, but I can't help but wonder why people think it's any of the business? I think, much like politics and religion, a persons marital status should be one of those things that, unless they bring it up themselves, should be something we just don't talk about in polite company.
One final thought on marriage. I believe that no matter what a couple decides EVERYONE should have the option to tie the knot. If there are two consenting adults that want to get married what legal reason can you give me that they should not be able to? Religion of any sort has no place in government, and by telling me that marriage is between a man and a woman you are bringing your faith and your bigotry into court. Love is love people, even if it doesn't fit your preconceived notions.